Like it or not, it’s become almost impossible to discuss burger greatness without discussing beef. Round or sirloin? Chuck or round? Round versus chuck? How thick should it be? When should it be salted? Oh, and yes, what should you cook it over, or in?

Once upon a time, I thought the no-fuss, no-frills cheeseburgers my Aunt Cassey made were the best in the world. Then, I followed the angry, young musician I’d been dating at the time to Manchester, Connecticut. He went to chase inspiration; I went because he went, and it seemed like a good idea at the [...]

I suppose this rarely happens, but what if, one of these days, you order one too many cheeseburger and find yourself unable to finish them off? What will you do with those splendid stacks of meat and cheese?

How do you eat a cheeseburger? If you’re female, gorgeous, and starving, you sit on a brownstone stoop with your legs spread just so, hike up your dress, and eat your cheeseburger like you’d just grown super flexible muscles in your mouth.

So, Todd finally found the courage to pop his Big Mac cherry. In honor of that occasion, let’s talk Big Mac. You know what your Big Mac is made of. It’s made of patties, onions, iceberg lettuce, American cheese, pickles, and a special “Mac” sauce. But that’s the Big Mac you know; what about the [...]

But I’ll have to admit, each time I think of Obama snacking on a cheeseburger while worrying over how to secure the financial freedom of the freeworld, I feel a forlorn little gurgle in my belly and I tear up. Can’t a man enjoy his cheeseburger in privacy?

If you’re a frequent visitor here, you know we’re always on a quest – not for the meaning of life (What am I, gay?) but for cheeseburger goodness of all kinds. Enter the recipe for healthy cheeseburger.

Is 40 a magic number? Jesus fasted in the wilderness for 40 days and nights. The dead are mourned for 40 days in Christian and Muslin cultures. A woman is pregnant for 40 weeks. Ali Baba had to hide from 40 thieves. And, you have to get 40 winks, before you’re said to have enjoyed [...]

There aren’t many wedding statements that will creep me out. After all, I spent the better part of adolescent life wearing a mullet. When you wear a mullet, you grow a tolerance for just about everything, even for beer bellies and Bai Ling. But a cheeseburger for a wedding cake? That’s where I draw the [...]