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Dietitians Rank 5 “Worst” Burgers

By • Apr 8th, 2010 • Category: Burger Blog

As a rule, any press release put out by a bunch called The Cancer Project is probably gonna be a real downer.  I’m sure that plenty of folks scan a list of the “Five Most Unhealthful Gourmet Burgers” and shake their heads disapprovingly at the gastronomical hand grenades included therein.  That’s what the Washington, DC-based group of physicians, researchers, and nutritionists intended.  But c’mon. You and I both know that this basically amounts to a “to-do list” for us cheeseburger chowhounds.

Here’s their countdown to what they consider the ultimate caloric catastrophe:

5. McDonald’s Angus Bacon & Cheese: The docs flag all three of Mickey D’s Angus burgs for high fat, cholesterol, and saturated fat content.  But they single out this one for its bacon, “a processed meat product linked to increased risk of colorectal cancer.”  (Does anyone really need a definition of “bacon?”) The Cancer Project is the same organization who last year tried to sue hot dog manufacturers and force them to slap warning labels on their wieners, so “processed meat” is clearly a big deal to them.  They fail to mention, however, that it’s friggin’ delicious.

4. Jack in the Box’s Sirloin Cheeseburger: “Jack in the Box was the first fast-food chain to offer a sirloin burger,” the group states.  They say that like it’s a bad thing.  They wag their finger specifically at “almost half of the daily recommended maximum of cholesterol.”  Doesn’t that just mean you can eat two of them and still come in under their magic number?

3. Burger King’s Steakhouse XT Burger: “This steakhouse burger is topped with high-fat mayonnaise, cheese, and fried onions. It contains more artery-clogging saturated fat than a person should consume in an entire day.“  BK should put that right on the damn menu board.  They’d sell more of these beefy XT bombshells just like that.

2. Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s Guacamole Bacon Six Dollar Burger: Sadly for us in Burger Nation, this is one of those limited-time-only menu items that’s currently not available.  But don’t fire up that sack dance just yet, Doctor Buzzkill.   The burgermeisters at these sister chains are offering the Six Dollar Grilled Cheese Bacon Thickburger instead.  With more calories, more cholesterol, more sodium, more fat grams, and more fat calories than the Guac version, I think Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s #2 ranking on the list is pretty safe.

1. Wendy’s Bacon Deluxe Triple: Picture that bad boy with an extra slab of beef, and you’ve got the “Most Unhealthful Gourmet Burger,” according to The Cancer Project.  Given my recent history with the little pigtailed girl and her less-than-stellar-burgers, I won’t be rushing out to grab one.  But three quarter-pound patties, 4 strips of applewood-smoked bacon (see #5 if you need a definition of “bacon”), and loads of fixin’s is a draw for many… and the reason this burg tops the dietitians’ list.

I know what you’re saying.  “What about burgers like this?  Or this?  Surely this has to be worse for you than those five!”  Well, you’re right.  Turns out that The Cancer Project was pretty selective about the establishments they targeted with their hit list.  Only national fast-food chains were reviewed, with the five “most prominent” chosen for inclusion in the potshot exercise.  Dietitians looked up nutritional info from the companies’ websites, picked the “worst” burger from each chain (to ensure that each chain was represented on the list), and then ranked those 5 burgers.  Not exactly a comprehensive or all-encompassing scientific study.

I’d say the “Five Most Unhealthful Gourmet Burgers” list should be taken with a big fat grain of salt… but The Cancer Project docs probably wouldn’t like that, either.

One Response to “Dietitians Rank 5 “Worst” Burgers”

  1. 1
    Obbop Says:

    An entire sub-Saharan tribe can weather a famine with a dozen of any of the above burgers.

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