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Hooters Busts into Burger Battle with $5.99 Deal

By • Jan 6th, 2010 • Category: Burger Blog

Just when you thought the cheeseburger landscape couldn’t get more crowded, a new combatant in the burger wars has brought out their big guns.  Hooters, famous for its 5-star cuisine and professional staff average bar food and buxom waitresses, has announced a new promotion that the chain calls “the best value in the restaurant industry today.”  Call it a burger storm in a D-cup.

Unveiled on January 4, the “More Than a Mouthful Mondays” deal offers horny hamburger fans a half-pound cheebie with fries for $5.99.  And the Hooters brass expects the weekly campaign to take a bite out of their competition’s bottom line.  “We are offering our guest a bigger, fresher, better burger and fries than any fast food restaurant at a price you’d expect to pay for a burger served in Styrofoam,” says marketing VP Mike McNeil.   “And best of all, instead of coming out of a window, you have a friendly Hooters Girl serve you at a table and clean up the dishes when you are done.”

Um, yeah.  What he meant to say was, “And best of all, you have a scantily-clad bombshell who wouldn’t otherwise notice you if you were on fire flirt shamelessly with you and ‘accidentally’ rub her ta-tas against you as she delivers your chicken wings.”

Hey, I kid because Hooters is an easy target.  They’re a flimsy pair of orange shorts away from being a strip club, yet they’ve managed to infiltrate family-friendly shopping malls and legitimate restaurant districts across 43 states and 26 countries.  They’ve carved out a unique niche and know exactly who they’re selling to.  Check out this, cut-and-pasted directly from their official website:

“The element of female sex appeal is prevalent in the restaurants, and the company believes the Hooters Girl is as socially acceptable as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, or a Radio City Rockette… The chain acknowledges that many consider ‘hooters’ a slang term for a portion of the female anatomy.  Hooters does have an owl inside its logo and uses an owl theme sufficiently to allow debate to occur over the meaning’s intent.  The chain enjoys and benefits from this debate.  In the end, we hope Hooters means a great place to eat.”

Sure, sex sells, even when what you’re selling is greasy pub grub.  (There’s a female-owned outfit in California that has gone mobile, bringing their “boobs ‘n burgs” to you in a big pink truck.)  But let’s be clear: no one really goes to Hooters for the food.  Hooters is where guys go to ogle hotties while they eat bar food and watch a game, then lie about how they ended up there when they get home.  (“Oh, where did we eat???  Um, Hooters.  I suggested Applebee’s, but they had a long wait. So Greg wanted to go there.”  Yeah, we’ll sell out our best friend in a heartbeat if there’s cleavage involved. And it’s okay; Greg is home with his wife/girlfriend throwing you under the bus as the horndog.)

So let’s call it what it is: a tasty deal on a big burger every single Monday. Hooters says that the $5.99 price tag is a full five bucks off of what you’d pay for the same items a la carte the other 6 days of the week.  Cool.  If you want to throw in bubbly co-eds in skimpy uniforms, I got no problem with that. Whenever I’ve been to Hooters in the past (because Greg wanted to go there, honey… honest), I’ve always gotten wings.  I’ll have to go try one of their cheeseburgers now.  Strictly for research’s sake.

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