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Krystal’s Big Angus Burger: What’s the Big Deal?

By • Jun 13th, 2011 • Category: Burger Blog

There are some things that I just don’t get. Lady Gaga, for example. The Lord of the Rings movies. Mufflers specially designed to make your car sound like it has no muffler. Golf. While popular, these things seem silly and pointless to me. Add Krystal’s Big Angus Burger to that list.

It’s surprising- given the results of my head-to-head taste test with White Castle. But the thing is, I can’t figure out why Krystal did it. Sure, they launched a few years ago when Angus was the big buzzword, and the company clearly wanted to capitalize on the frenzy. But doesn’t it go against everything the chain is known for?

Say “Krystal,” and your mental Etch-a-Sketch draws a sackful of small, square burgers with steamed onions, served up  in cute cardboard sleeves. This is the definition of fast food: down and dirty grub that takes seconds to prepare and seconds to eat. It’s a quick bite on the way home from the concert, road trip food for you and a carload of buddies, or the perfect greasy capper to an alcohol-soaked night on the town.

If you want Krystal, you want the small, square slyders that founded an empire in 1932. Starving? Order in multiples of 3 to match your hunger level. That’s their whole thing. If you’re after a big two-handed fast-food burg, there are dozens of other joints who’ve done it longer and better. No one ever says, “I really want a Krystal, but I wish they had a giant burger that bears no resemblance whatsoever to the thing that made me fall in love with Krystal to begin with.

But that’s what Krystal’s Big Angus Burger is. My Double Big Angus Bacon Cheese Burger (as long as it’s not “small and square,” I might as well go as big as they got, right?) had a good bit of heft to it and looked decent, almost convincing me that they knew what they were doing all along.

Speed: none. I was informed at the drive-thru, “That burger is cooked to order,” so I’d need to pull around and wait. For over five minutes. Now my Krystal wasn’t even “fast food” anymore.

Packaging: no cardboard box, which is a key part of the Krystal experience, as any frat house of carnivores who’ve constructed a slyder sleeve condo at three in the morning can attest. Mine came in a boring foil wrapper that was actually splitting open. Was the Big Angus Burger THAT big… or did somebody in the stockroom just get carried away with a box cutter?

Under the bun: terrifying. What a mess. According to the Krystal website, that’s iceberg and romaine lettuce, but who can tell? Chopped onions- I know it’s what the cook had handy, but an odd choice. It’s one thing when you can hold the burger and safely contain the toppings in three fingers, but no one wants onion nubbins spilling out the back with every bite. Diced grape tomatoes- really? Grape tomatoes aren’t small enough; you have to dice them?!? You’ve already had to re-tool your kitchen for third-pounders and regular buns; why not use regulation-size tomato slices?

The beef itself was pretty darn good, with a good melt on the proportionately-proper cheese. The split-kaiser roll bun is nothing like the super-squishy Krystal buns you’re used to, with the bottom bun disintegrating long before the beef patties it was supposed to hold.

I didn’t hate the Krystal Big Angus Burger. I don’t hate Lady Gaga or golf, either. I just don’t see the need for any of them. I’ll keep my Krystals small and square.

2 Responses to “Krystal’s Big Angus Burger: What’s the Big Deal?”

  1. 1
    B Says:

    I bought one of these the other day because Krystal was the only thing open on Christmas. Honestly I think it tastes way better than Mcdonald’s and Hardee’s angus burgers. In fact I think it may be the best fast food burger you can get.

  2. 2
    Assy McGee Says:

    I agree with B, in most respects. The BA burger is pretty darn good. Better than anything at McDonalds. I’d still take something from Burger King half the time, and Jack In The Box has it beat with its Sirloin burgers, but the BA is pretty close to being up there.

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