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» Membership Has Its Privileges
Cheese-Burger.net
Burgers, Cheeseburgers and stuff… Yes a website about Burgers.

Membership Has Its Privileges

By • Aug 12th, 2009 • Category: Burger Blog

There’s a fantastic new website out there for cheeseburger lovers.  The Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board has created the Cheese & Burger Society.  The website is a graphics-heavy feast for the eyes that spotlights 30 different extreme cheeseburgers that all feature some type of Wisconsin cheese.

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The burgs are displayed on a series of virtual flip-cards, as if they’re on an old-timey Rolodex.  The whole site has a classy brass-and-mahogany kind of feel to it, like the Cheese & Burger Society is some long-standing secret club that you’ve just been given the secret password to.  You flip through to see each burger in spectacular color and detail, and hear a detailed-yet-hilarious description.  Your narrator is Patrick Warburton, deep-throated voice guy from “Family Guy” and “The Tick.”  (For us slightly older types, he was Puddy on “Seinfeld.”)  Warburton reads each burger’s blurb like it’s Shakespeare, and it’s a hoot.  Frankly, he could read his grocery shopping list and I’d wet myself, but there are some real gems here.  Here are a few of my faves:

“Get your favorite stretch pants ready, because this cheeseburger is fully-loaded with the good stuff.”

“This cheeseburger is not for the faint of heart.  Or the stapled of stomach.”

“The food gods have spoken loud and clear… and maybe with a slight Sicilian accent.”

C&B CMYK Logo

But the Cheese & Burger Society isn’t just a funny website.  The burgers here look incredible. There are some wild combinations and insane toppings to be found.  Cucumbers jumped out at me on one creation.  Corned beef and sauerkraut on another.  Toasted walnuts and dried tart cherries.  How about sauteed apples?  Refried beans???

Among the 30 burgers, there’s something for just about everyone.  Some burgers look not too different from typical fancy restaurant fare.  Some look similar to other burgers we’ve talked about, like the Highwayman (akin to my B.C.O.M.L.) or the Macho Nacho (closely related to the infamous Fifth Third Burger).  But others are outrageously original.  Everyone will have their own favorites.  Mine include:

10. Lumberjack (Swiss, cheddar, two beef patties, and three pieces of toast.  This looks like what the Big Mac should be.)

17. Crabby Louie (Monterey Jack, avocado, and crabmeat.  Yum.)

21. Coach Potato (Blue cheese, smoked pepper pork, and potato chips.  Wow.)

26. Sheboygan (Cheese curds, beer mustard, and bratwurst.  Oh dear sweet Lord.)

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There’s a recipe card that shows you the list of “toppings & fixings,” but no real assembly instructions or step-by-step directions.  You could wing it on most of these, I suppose, if you wanted to try one out in your own kitchen.  There’s also a nice fact sheet about each of the cheeses, with flavor profiles and even drink pairings.  Each cheese also has its own audio bit from Warburton that’s worth listening to for some clever one-liners.

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The website itself could have some legs.  The Cheese & Burger Society debuted in early July, and already has over 30,000 Facebook fans.  In addition, there’s reason to keep coming back after you’ve seen and heard about the 30 cheeseburgers.  Each month, a different chef features his recipe for the society’s newest honorary member.  And these are not your usual New York celebrity chefs tossing out some lame seen-it-once-seen-it-a-thousand-times trick.  August’s chef, for example, is from Fort Wayne, Indiana and has a cheeseburger that uses ground duck and raspberry honey mustard!

Oh, yeah, and you can enter on the site to win a big honkin’ fancy stainless steel grill.  Just in case 30 of the craziest and most mouthwatering cheeseburgers you’ll ever see with running commentary from Puddy isn’t enough to warrant a few minutes of your surfing time.

I love this site.  I love quite a few of the burgers.  And if I had the means, I’d open a restaurant right in downtown Milwaukee that brought the Cheese & Burger Society to life.  I’d make it a secret, word-of-mouth place with no signage whatsoever.  You’d have to know where to go to find it.  You’d need to know the password to get in.

Actually, believe it or not, there’s already a place kind of like this, and it’s even in Milwaukee.  It’s the Safe House, a spy-themed restaurant that’s literally behind an falsely-marked door in a back alley.  It’s a fun place and I dug it when I was there, but now I like to imagine it draped in red velvet, brass, and mahogany and serving these 30 beautiful burgers. 

Whoa.  I got a little dizzy just now.

Check out the Cheese & Burger Society here.  Then let us know: which one is your favorite?

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